Dr. Marcy Rubin is a licensed clinical psychologist who has been practicing in the Chicagoland area since 1999. Currently, she works for Illinois Masonic Hospital in Chicago and also maintains her own private practice. Dr. Rubin specializes in personal growth, healing and change - utilizing an innovative mix of spiritual guidance and psychological theory. I sat down with Dr. Rubin to ask her a few questions.
Q: Speaking generally, what would you say is the biggest problem that women struggle with today?
A: One of the biggest issues (that women struggle with) is their willingness to understand the potential power that stems from pain and adversity. When faced with difficult times, women often obsess over their weaknesses and inadequacy when in all actuality, the adversity (and getting through it) can make women a pillar of strength and character beyond their wildest dreams.
Another main issue is that women have a difficult time allowing themselves to receive love and nurturance from the would around them. Women can be phenomenal givers, but receiving love – even self-love has become quite the challenge.
Q: Would you say then that one of the biggest problems that women face in their intimate relationships is difficulty in receiving love?
A: Yes. Men face this difficulty too, but women are in the majority here. Many women feel that to be loved they need to be perfect, and (they) continually struggle with the feeling of being unworthy to receive love because of perceived or actual mental, physical or emotional flaws, and all of their unhealed pain or adversity. They often mistakenly cling to the notion that to have pain or adversity makes them inherently unworthy to be loved.
What women seldom realize is that it is through the courage to face and survive adversity and pain; they build the strength and character that makes them most worthy of the love that they so desperately need to survive.
Q: So what do you suggest women do to overcome these emotional issues?
A: To be our best and give to the fullest of our potential as women, we have to allow ourselves to receive and of course not feel guilty about it. Allowing ourselves to receive love and nurturance is the only effective way we can give back to those we love the essentials of what they need to survive. Also, by honoring, courageously working through, and building strength and character from adversity is the only way we can stand tall in the fullest of our potential.
Q: You mentioned earlier that it is difficult for many women to love themselves. Do you have any tips on how women can implement more self-love in their lives?
A: Absolutely. They constantly need to say what they want, think and feel to themselves as well as the people in their lives – their parents, their partners, their children.
By saying how you feel, you validate your negative emotions by identifying them. By saying what you think, you validate the negative experience or interaction by identifying the problem that caused negativity. By saying what you want, you come up with potential solutions to remedy the problem that occurred in the past or how you can avoid this again in the future.
This type of personal maintenance, this mental processing is by definition, self-love and it works wonders for the soul.
Q: Speaking generally, what would you say is the biggest problem that women struggle with today?
A: One of the biggest issues (that women struggle with) is their willingness to understand the potential power that stems from pain and adversity. When faced with difficult times, women often obsess over their weaknesses and inadequacy when in all actuality, the adversity (and getting through it) can make women a pillar of strength and character beyond their wildest dreams.
Another main issue is that women have a difficult time allowing themselves to receive love and nurturance from the would around them. Women can be phenomenal givers, but receiving love – even self-love has become quite the challenge.
Q: Would you say then that one of the biggest problems that women face in their intimate relationships is difficulty in receiving love?
A: Yes. Men face this difficulty too, but women are in the majority here. Many women feel that to be loved they need to be perfect, and (they) continually struggle with the feeling of being unworthy to receive love because of perceived or actual mental, physical or emotional flaws, and all of their unhealed pain or adversity. They often mistakenly cling to the notion that to have pain or adversity makes them inherently unworthy to be loved.
What women seldom realize is that it is through the courage to face and survive adversity and pain; they build the strength and character that makes them most worthy of the love that they so desperately need to survive.
Q: So what do you suggest women do to overcome these emotional issues?
A: To be our best and give to the fullest of our potential as women, we have to allow ourselves to receive and of course not feel guilty about it. Allowing ourselves to receive love and nurturance is the only effective way we can give back to those we love the essentials of what they need to survive. Also, by honoring, courageously working through, and building strength and character from adversity is the only way we can stand tall in the fullest of our potential.
Q: You mentioned earlier that it is difficult for many women to love themselves. Do you have any tips on how women can implement more self-love in their lives?
A: Absolutely. They constantly need to say what they want, think and feel to themselves as well as the people in their lives – their parents, their partners, their children.
By saying how you feel, you validate your negative emotions by identifying them. By saying what you think, you validate the negative experience or interaction by identifying the problem that caused negativity. By saying what you want, you come up with potential solutions to remedy the problem that occurred in the past or how you can avoid this again in the future.
This type of personal maintenance, this mental processing is by definition, self-love and it works wonders for the soul.
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