After a break-up most women are haunted by: the good times, the bad times, the "waste of time", the "red flags", the phone, the email, the perceived or actual "new girl", the loneliness, the self-doubt, and "Oh my God, what's this?" the ____(insert item) he left at your place.
The horror. Actual physical evidence of your relationship stands before you. You reach out to burn/rip/shred ____(said item) but then you get this urge to wear it, smell it, or hug it. Stop yourself. And listen.
HBMS had a second opportunity to sit down with Dr. Marcy Rubin to compose a "how-to-guide" for women suffering from a painful break-up. Many times you can look back on your break-up antics and laugh, but the actual process of getting through a break-up can send women spiraling into a severe depression.
In no order of importance (all things equally important) Dr. Rubin lists her remedy for a broken heart:
1. Find ways to laugh. Whether it be with movies or television or friends, laughing and smiling is important. When you smile, you spirit lifts automatically. Laughing also helps you realize that love is all around you - not just in your past relationship.
2. Get support from friends and family. If no one is around, or you've used all of your resources, talk to yourself. Yes, yourself. All types of talk is helpful and healing - even self-talk.
3. Reconnect with old friends. Many times, you lose contact with people as you try to balance a relationship with work or children. Reach out and be surprised at who is happy to hear from you.
4. Go into nature. Paying attention and being aware of mother earth is regenerative and meditative. By doing this, you also understand your place in something bigger than your old relationship. In nature, you also attuned to the cycle of life. There is always a beginning and an end. Look forward to your beginning.
5. Reconnect to your religion or spiritual practices.
6. Think of the things that brought you joy before your break up - and do them. Many times, we don't realize that we were a person, with a life before the relationship.
7. Distract yourself. Keep busy. Throw yourself into work, a new project or self-improvement.
The horror. Actual physical evidence of your relationship stands before you. You reach out to burn/rip/shred ____(said item) but then you get this urge to wear it, smell it, or hug it. Stop yourself. And listen.
HBMS had a second opportunity to sit down with Dr. Marcy Rubin to compose a "how-to-guide" for women suffering from a painful break-up. Many times you can look back on your break-up antics and laugh, but the actual process of getting through a break-up can send women spiraling into a severe depression.
In no order of importance (all things equally important) Dr. Rubin lists her remedy for a broken heart:
1. Find ways to laugh. Whether it be with movies or television or friends, laughing and smiling is important. When you smile, you spirit lifts automatically. Laughing also helps you realize that love is all around you - not just in your past relationship.
2. Get support from friends and family. If no one is around, or you've used all of your resources, talk to yourself. Yes, yourself. All types of talk is helpful and healing - even self-talk.
3. Reconnect with old friends. Many times, you lose contact with people as you try to balance a relationship with work or children. Reach out and be surprised at who is happy to hear from you.
4. Go into nature. Paying attention and being aware of mother earth is regenerative and meditative. By doing this, you also understand your place in something bigger than your old relationship. In nature, you also attuned to the cycle of life. There is always a beginning and an end. Look forward to your beginning.
5. Reconnect to your religion or spiritual practices.
6. Think of the things that brought you joy before your break up - and do them. Many times, we don't realize that we were a person, with a life before the relationship.
7. Distract yourself. Keep busy. Throw yourself into work, a new project or self-improvement.
8. Cry. You are not feeling sorry for yourself, you are releasing pain. Very important.
9. Have faith that your new mate will be brought to you in the right time, in the right way and in the right place.
9. Have faith that your new mate will be brought to you in the right time, in the right way and in the right place.
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